7. Staying Healthy - Finding Community

Finding Community

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out...Be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." –Albert Schweitzer

Building community
Depression and anxiety can be isolating. The exhaustion and worries might leave you too worn out for social interactions. But now that you're starting to feel better, it's the perfect time to reach out to friends you trust and build community. Supportive friendships are incredibly helpful in recovery. And if you already have a group of friends that you see regularly, even better! Strengthen those connections, and be a friend to them. When you give friendship as well as receiving it, the relationship becomes a gift to everyone involved.

Choose safe friendships
You can be a friend to anyone, of course, but as you heal, you'll want to confide in friends who are safe – people who'll support you without judgment on your journey to recovery. You can spot a reliable friend because they'll listen to understand you, not just for a chance to talk. A safe person asks questions before sharing information and sees you as a better version of yourself. Friends like this won't downplay your experiences. They'll validate you just the way you are. If you have a trusted group of friends in your life, chances are at least some of them are people you can confide in. Or, if you're just setting out to make friends, watch for someone safe. They'll make a great friend, and they're probably easy to talk to.

Build on the friendships you already have
Making new friends can be tough, especially once you're out of school and in the workplace. It's not impossible, so if you're in a new place, or otherwise needing to make friends, don't give up. As much as you can safely do so, though, try to keep up the friendships you already have. Recovery is hard work. So, when it's possible, reach out to your current friends for a quicker way to find support. If you and your friends haven't chatted in a while, try calling just one – someone you know will listen. That one friend might be able to connect you with others, too. Just like exercise, or any recovery tool, finding community starts with one small step.

Ways to meet new friends
You may not choose to look for new friends first, but as you feel better, you may decide to expand your friend group. Or, maybe you've moved to a new town, and you're craving some face-to-face friend time. Making friends takes a bit of effort, but it's a lot easier if you spend time at a place where you’ll naturally connect with others. You could join a weekly study or another group at your church, volunteer, take a class to meet people with similar interests, or try attending a depression or anxiety support group. The last option gives you a higher chance of meeting friends who have experienced mental health struggles as well. If you hit it off with someone at work, school, or church, don't be afraid to reach out. They might be looking for a friend, as well.

Keep in mind, as you look for friends, that not everyone is available. Some people are dealing with things in their lives that make it a hard time for them to start a friendship. A no doesn't mean you've done anything wrong. It just means you haven't found the right person yet. Hang in there, and be sure to try again.

Making friends is entirely possible, but the process takes time. When you can, maintain the friendships you have – they're one of your greatest strengths. And as you spend time with old and new friends, you'll discover how much faster you can recover in a supportive community. Plus, your newfound positive thinking might be a gift for your friends, too.