Answer: I sure feel happy sometimes. And I sure feel sad at other times. And then there are times that I’m sure that I’m not sure how I feel.I’m focusing on two key words in your question: “sure” and “feel.” When you add salvation to the mix, you’re apt to get mixed up.
What I mean is this: you can feel sure that you are saved and yet not be saved. And the opposite is also true: you can be saved and sure not feel like it. (Yes, it’s even possible to feel lost and be lost, just as it’s possible to feel saved and actually be saved.)
Your question has more to do with times of doubt. This often happens when you’ve done something that you don’t think a follower of Jesus should do (like gossip about somebody behind their back and really enjoy it!), or when you don’t do something that you think a follower of Jesus would do (like neglecting to spend time in private devotions).
If you’re doing something wrong, then stop! Change! When you stop and change what you’re doing wrong, there’s a term for it: repent. It means that you don’t want things to continue that way, and you even want to undo the bad things that have already happened. That’s good! So repent.
This could mean that you go to the people you enjoyed gossiping with and say something like, “You know when I shared that personal information about Jeremy and Tasha (and gave it my own twist), it seemed like fun to talk about them at the time, but now I’m really sorry I did that. I wish I could take it all back. Will you forgive me for talking about them behind their backs? And feel free to stop me if I do something like that again.”
Then you may need to go to Jeremy and Tasha and confess to them what you’ve done, confess your sorrow for doing it, and request that they forgive you (um, they might not be very happy when they find out you were gossiping about them, but they might have already heard from someone else that you did).
And you should definitely come clean with God. You’ve blown it. Own up to it. Confess it. Release it. Embrace God’s forgiveness for you. And if you need a refresher course on this, check out Psalm 51—David’s prayer of confession to God after he blew it big-time!
If you doubt your salvation, it might be a nudge for you to get right with God. If so, ask God to remove anything that stands between you and Him.
If you’re straight with God, and you’re still doubting your salvation, here’s what I suggest—it’s what I do. Turn to 1 John 5:11-13. Here’s how it reads in the New International Version (with my comments in parenthesis):
“And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son.” (Instead of accepting your feelings about whether or not you really are saved, go with the testimony that God has given, which is: God has already given you eternal life, so it’s already a done deal! Your eternal life is based on God’s gift of Jesus, not on whether or not you happen to be feeling it at the moment.)
“He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life.” (You can’t get more simple than this: if you have Jesus, then you have eternal life. If you don’t have Jesus, then you don’t have eternal life. Now the question changes from Do I have eternal life? to Do I have Jesus? If you have Jesus, you have eternal life. If you aren’t sure, then invite Him into your life right now! That’s it!)
“I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life.” (That’s for people like you and me who don’t fully believe the previous paragraph. John wrote this so that we can know that we have eternal life. Notice that John didn’t use the word “feel”—he used the word “know.”)
If you want another run at it, check out some previous verses—1 John 3:18-24.
It’s wonderful to feel saved. It’s even better to be saved. When you have Jesus, it’s the best!
