I can’t imagine our school without Kenny. His smile brightens everyone’s day. That’s why I was shocked when I heard we’d almost lost him. Last week he told me his story and the events that led up to that nearly fatal night:

“The biggest struggle for me was when my Dad died last summer. I didn’t have the best relationship with him, so it made things harder for me. People thought they were helping, but the things they said were really getting to me. I stopped talking to God. I also stopped going to church because people were always asking questions. When I wasn’t lying around the house all day moping, I was busy hanging out with friends and going to parties so I could forget about everything."

“One night I was so fed up with life, people and the pain, that I went on a motorcycle ride at one o’clock in the morning. While riding on a country road, Satan started putting thoughts into my head: ‘Your Dad was never proud of you, otherwise he would have told you…Nobody cares about you…No one would miss you…It’s not like you have something to live for…Why don’t you just kill yourself and solve everything?’ “I sped up. I don’t know how fast I was going but I was hauling. I saw a car coming toward me and started moving closer to the centerline. Seconds before I was about to turn into the oncoming car I felt my cell phone vibrating in my pocket. In that moment I looked down. When I looked up the car had passed." 

Collapsed on the Gravel and Started Crying

“I pulled off to the side of the road and jumped off my bike. Throwing off my helmet I collapsed on the gravel and started bawling. I asked God to forgive me for abandoning Him—especially when I really needed Him the most.”

Kenny’s story teaches that you can’t rely on feelings in the middle of your pain. When you’re facing a heart-wrenching breakup, the divorce of your parents, having your best friend shun you, feeling unpopular or being bullied at school, that’s not the time to decide you don’t want to live. The pain may be so severe that at that moment you don’t feel like living. But that’s only that particular moment. Kenny’s feelings changed just as soon as the car passed him.

When your pain is that intense, don’t make the permanent decision to end it all. Instead, RUN. Run from Satan and to God. Run to a parent, friend, teacher, pastor or school counselor. Anyone who can help you realize that your life can get better, and can show you how. Don’t give up. Choose life. Don’t say an early goodbye to family and friends. Don’t miss out on your graduation, college, wedding day, having a career or starting a family. You have a future.

What if? What if Kenny hadn’t received that call? I’m glad he did. I can’t imagine our school without Kenny. His smile brightens everyone’s day….

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By Nancy Canwell. Copyright © 2007 by GraceNotes. All rights reserved. Use of this material is subject to usage guidelines.